Maybe one of the funniest parts of our trip to San Francisco was the fact that we spent the entire weekend hanging out (with the one exception of our dear friend Mac) with the child-less.  Considering how guilt-riddled I was about leaving the state without Owen, the harmony in that development was not lost.  And while I love my son more than I ever thought humanly possible, I do try to avoid being that parent who constantly chatters about parenthood, preschool, and potty training.  But amongst the child-less, my status as parent became kind of an anthropological status and I ended up fielding a lot of questions.

One in particular was whether or not I ever had parents exposing Owen to beliefs or situations I didn’t approve of.  Not really, I answered– I mean sure once your kid starts to make friends of his own you kind of start dating those parents, so you may end up hanging out with people you would otherwise never be friends with because your kids hang out.  But despite those differences, no one has ever really crossed that line.  I mean, its not like anyone has ever taken Owen to church.

Or, it was like that.

I’m guessing that some of you reading are now picking up on the fact that Kelly and I are not church goers.  Not in the slightest.  In rather stereotypical fashion we are both recovering Catholics living a decidedly secular-humanist life.  Don’t get me wrong. I’ve got nothing against faith and in fact I have plenty myself.  But I have no interest in organized religion, whatever the flavor, thankyouverymuch as I already deal in enough politics during my day jobs.  And if you don’t believe me that organized religion of any sort is simply a front for political ideology and organizing why don’t you do us both a little favor and read up on Stupak-Pitts, mmmkay?  Thanks.

But yeah, Owen went to church while we were out of town.  On a Sunday.  NOT for a wedding.  For real.

Let me back up a bit.  He went to Sunday school, with his buddy, at the church, while the parents and the baby attended services.  I know that is supposed to make me feel better but honestly it only makes me feel dirtier.

The family he stayed with suspected this would be an issue as they brought it up (in case Owen mentioned it) and made it a point of saying that it was just the daycare (I mean, we were told, its not like they were proselytizing or anything) and Owen didn’t attend services.  And I like these guys A LOT–these are the rare breed of parents that we’d actually hang out with regardless if our kids were friends or not.  So I really don’t want to have my panties in a bunch about this issue but GAH!

Owen’s been to a church before.  A couple of times even.  But always as a ring-bearer in a wedding.  Now that he’s older he’s started to ask about it.  Before last weekend church was a place where people went to go have quiet, private thoughts (and I was kind of impressed with that non-offensive and deferential descriptor myself, but whatever).  Now it is a place where his buddies go play and they get McDonalds afterwards.  How is this not proselytizing to a five year old?

Kelly used to make fun of me because I had these bouts of paranoia where I didn’t want to leave Owen with certain family members because I was worried that they would secretly go out and baptize Owen behind our backs and initiate him into compulsory religious participation much like I was.  My position has always been to raise my son with a good moral compass and let the politics shake out as he got older.  Growing up I had moments of deep piety and I remain curious and engaged with religious philosophy.  We celebrate Christmas as a winter holiday of appreciation, and Easter as a spring holiday of possibility.  Fruity hippies, sure, and I know I’m biased, but we’ve always approached religious practitioners with respect and hoped to get the same in return.

But that wont happen.  Ever.  Not even with people who we like, respect, and get drunk with.  Why?  I wish I knew.  I mean, in our case it appears as though the particular church is of the ubiquitous universalist unitarian variety- so pretty good all things considered.  Here in Minnesota it could have been A LOT worse as evangelical Christians are as common as snow in October.  But whatever, it is still Christian and promotes, no matter how open or tolerantlyish, the premise of Jesus as lord and savior.  The entire congregation may be dressed in Patagonia fleece, celebrate communion with only locally-sourced and blessed wine, and lesbian theologians may run the parish, it does not matter.  Sorry.  Not buying.  So please stop selling.  And the thing about the practitioners is that they never stop selling, even if they don’t think they are.

Thankfully Owen has said nothing about the experience, and I certainly don’t plan on bringing it up anytime soon. For the time being we are getting ready to put up our Christmas lights, hang stockings, get a tree, play our Herb Alpert holiday music, and get down with our secular selves.