Well, not really chatting.  He’s Facebook friends with her.  They knew each other as kids, and through the wonderful world of Facebook their worlds collide once more.  Lucky for me I get to watch the whole thing unfold.

I should start with full disclosure and totally-true-but-not-required props to Kelly, because this whole scenario is rightfully pretty funny to him, mostly because he gets to watch me squirm with a topic that catches me right between the feminist-is-also-a-wife eyes– sex-work.  I am pro sex work.  Yes pimps are assholes, and yes the porn industry exploits women like no other– except maybe finance, medicine, the law…I think you see where I’m headed.  But the reality is the problems we have with sex work have as much to do with our general discomfort around women’s sexuality as they do a benevolent desire to protect women from the evils of corrupt capitalism.  As a feminist I get very uncomfortable whenever I hear a legal argument based on that notion of protecting women, as far too often that is a code for subjugation and one more way to deny female agency.  As a practical matter a lady can make a lot of money in the sex industry, so I’ve always felt that as a feminist its kind of hard to come down TOTALLY against sex work specifically because there are some women with business smarts doing very well for themselves.  It sucks, but thems the brakes.  

Don’t get me wrong, the sex industry produces throngs of victims, and they leave scarred in a very real fashion.  But transparency could get at some–not all, but some– of those instances by forcing out the worst of the industry.  Quite frankly I’d like to see the entire thing legalized, regulated, and taxed to the gills.  And then I’d like to see those tax dollars fund sexual abuse, chemical dependency, and early-childhood programs for women affected by sex work.  That will happen the day Hegemommy is in charge, but I digress.

So yeah, as a general proposition I am fine with strippers.  And former strippers who now sell clothes to porn stars and celebrities.  But, man.  It’s a little different when they comment on a picture of your kid.  Or of your husband.  I admit it, when that happens I am decidedly NOT pro sex work.  Yup.  I go from defending female entrepreneurialism to wanting to rip out bitches’ weave.  Okay, maybe not that drastic, but there are times…..

I really can’t explain it.  I mean, there’s nothing threatening to me about her or her presence at all.  And I know the minute I type that it sounds like the exact OPPOSITE, but its true.  For real.  I’m serious. No really.  Don’t believe me, I don’t care, but it’s true.  The reality is it’s annoying.  She seems kind of annoying and I believe more and more that it has nothing to do with her current or former profession.  I just don’t think we’d get along, but for whatever reason that feeling is amplified by about 100 times because of her job.  And yes, as a wife I would kindly ask the sex workers to back away from the husband and boy.  It’s bad enough Owen told me recently that he knows Hannah Montana.  I really don’t want to have to deal with that energy just yet. 

Of course Kelly’s having a good laugh, and rightly so.  I admit the whole thing is pretty ridiculous.  And who doesn’t have the equivalent of a stripper lurking in their history?   I know I do and they are doozies.  It’s also been a real boost for my confidence (no for real) in a sort of “strippers got nothing on me” kind of way.  Let’s be honest, we can all use that kind of ego boost from time to time.  

I will also admit that this is a process, this getting comfortable with the stripper next door.  That said, I just don’t plan on getting too comfortable.