Now that I’m a good step into 2010 I’ve been able to catch my breath from the two week extravaganza that is christmasbirthdaynewyears in the Hegemommy house.  And as a someone who is a big fan of symbolism and looks for (or creates) it at every given opportunity I can tell you that at the start of the year I’m always on high-symbolic-significance alert.  Knowing that, I need to ask a question here.  What should I make of all this destruction?

Ships of destruction.  Battles of destruction.  Nerf wars of destruction.  Within the course of two weeks my house, and to some degree my precious, sweet little boy, went from a mild Star Wars and Transformers fixation to a serious DESTRUCTION obsession.  The three tubs of Legos he got for Christmas and his birthday?  Only to be used to build ships of destruction.  And once those ships are built, they may only be used in battles of destruction.  That doesn’t even factor in the Nerf arsenal that includes swords, some heavy arms, and a couple of good pistols.  And a tackle box of ammo.  That’s right.  A tackle box of ammo.

Now I know that a vast majority of this is harmless, and I’ll prepare to duck and cover on this one but I’m sorry Nerf wars are FUN!  But what do I do with all this violence?  And how did this get started?

As any good progressive boho mommy I did everything I could to shield O from those parts of consumer culture that feed into the worst of gendered advertising, particularly violence and violentish influence.  But a mere mortal mommy is simply no match, and soon enough he was asking about Transformers, Power Rangers, and tackling with other dudes on the playground.  We resisted for a while, tried to redirect some of that energy, but eventually the relentless tides of pop culture wore their way through.  And we caved.

I mean, it’s not like the boy’s angry.  Quite the opposite in fact, and that’s what wierds me out a bit.  We do set limits and there are some elements of little boy culture that he’s shown absolutely no interest and even an active dislike of (GI Joe in particular, and yes, I’m aware that that is a WHOLE OTHER POST).  But it feels like almost overnight my baby went from precious and innocent to ruthless and calculating (okay yeah, we still snuggle every night, but you know what I mean).  If you ask him what he wants to play the answer is always the same: battle.  Battle Legos.  Battle Star Wars.  Battle Nerf.  Battle Transformers.  Battle.  Battle.  Battle.  Battle.

I can kind of see why.  The joy a good light saber battle brings this kid is infectious.  I mean, he BEAMS while trying to cut off your legs, belly-laughing with every attempt at a beheading.  And if he hits his dad during a Nerf battle, particularly if he hits him in the butt, ohlord lookout–laughing till he cries.  Okay so me too on that last one. But the darts stick.

Now obviously I know there’s a difference between a Nerf dart at daddy’s butt and a burgeoning serial killer. And temporarily putting aside the hysterical and EPIC family battles we’ve had, the sheer number of weapons and arsenal references now littering my house is unnerving, particularly as I look for signs of what 2010 will bring.  Knowing that in a few months my baby marches off to kindergarten I’m also extra sensitive to the parenting we’ve done so far. Because you know, at this point, it’s kinda hard to undo things.  The mold is pretty much set.

And what do I see, what marks this particular time in the Hegemommy house and in what direction is the product of my parenting headed?  War.  Violence.  Destruction.  And if these are symbols, themes of my life right now, is this what’s in store for me, for my family in the next decade?  Or just the occassional Nerf dart to the butt?