I started teaching again.  I’ve been away from the profession for about 8 years or so, but even as a law student I figured at some point I’d leave private practice and head for that ivory tower of self-important isolationism.  So when the opportunity presented itself for me to start teaching writing AND political science I jumped.

For the most part teaching is a lot like trying a case to a jury.  You need to be able to identify the important information, the interesting information, and make the students (or the jury) follow as you illustrate both.  You need to work slowly, methodically, and pay attention to the subtle cues of human behavior.  It also helps if you like to hear yourself talk.  Finally, you just have to accept that whatever the plan you will inevitably deviate from it with little to no notice.

My first foray into teaching came under very different circumstances than this latest gig but the students and the material were surprisingly similar.  Then I was a graduate student at Mills College- a very small, very liberal all girls school in Oakland, California.  I was teaching a couple classes- writing and women’s studies- and most of my students were first-generation college students, many of whom were non-native English speakers.  Now I’m a lawyer, teaching at a community college (and law school, but we’ll get to that later and really, that information is only for ego at this point) where most of my students are first generation college students and well god only knows what is their native tongue.

I bring up the subjects taught, and the demographics of the students, because I think it plays into a recurring phenomenon in my albeit brief teaching career.  Students with a crush.  Now, I know this is all too common, but it seems like the same kind of students fall for me.  They are all young, female, and clearly looking for mentorship.  And after a few weeks they LOOOOVE me.

Of course, I manage to remain oblivious to the crush until it manifests itself in uncomfortable ways and often mistake the crushor’s actions as evidence of their enthusiasm for the class (even comp- yes, I know, but I LOVE grammar, so is it that unreasonable to think others would get turned on –intellectually– by this topic?!), and evidence of hard work and investment in their education.  I’m serious.  Okay.  You can stop laughing now.  Really. 

Well, like the seasons turn even if we think winter will drag on forever (maybe that’s just a Minnesota thing), my comp class has produced a grade A crushor.  I’ve already been inundated with emails thanking me for taking the time to approve her paper topic, admiring my writing skills, and offering to rework an entire paper if it was not up to my liking.

But this student is different, or at least, the possibility of a crush was something I was more cognizant of going into this quarter.  Now I’m starting to think the problem really is with me.  You see, this student shows a lot of promise and tries really hard to do well in class–presumably motivated by something other than her deep-seated desire for my approval.  One night after class she asked me an innocuous question about her homework.  After I answered I let her know that I thought she was doing really well in class.  Ohboy.

As I was handing her the compliment I could feel myself desperate to claw it back.  Not because I didn’t mean it– I did– but because it was instantly apparent how attention-starved this girl was and that she had little, if any, experience with positive reinforcement.  The next class she brought me crayons for Owen under the pretext that she was getting rid of old toys in her house.  The crayons were new and I knew we had a problem.

So now I’m trying to manage a relationship with a student who lacks any sense of appropriate female-to-female boundaries and who is simply misdirecting mentoring and encouragement.  I certainly don’t want to encourage her devotion.  And I’m scared that if I do take a firm stand in re-establishing the student-teacher boundary that the confidence she’s gaining and the voice she’s finding will wither and vanish.  Frack.

If the student were a boy I think it would be sooo much easier to get things back on track, but because its a girl I’m all worried about her FEELINGS.  Ugh.  This dynamic is the same reason I dropped out of my sorority and shun congregations of women in general– so.much.emotional.drama.

What do I do?  Do I take a stern-fatherly approach in reinforcing those boundaries, feelings be damned?  Do I ignore the increasing efforts and garnering my attention and praise since we’re half-way through the quarter?  Argh!  Either way I think I’m screwed and now I’m wondering if it really is possible to have a healthy mentoring relationship with a female student or if I should shun all my liberal-leanings and just be professor hardass, not giving a hoot about how my students “feel” about their education.  If I do take the professor hardass route, what does that say about having healthy professional relationships with women in general.  Ugh.  Like I said.  This is why I dropped out of sorority life and can count the number of close female friends on one hand.  Fucking feelings.