God I’ve been avoiding this post.  In fact, I’ve kind of been avoiding the whole site if you haven’t noticed.  My creativity, zapped.  My inspiration, vanished.  What happened?  It’s a little complicated, but let me start by admitting that I’m overcommitted.

It’s a vicious cycle with me.  I am a compulsive workaholic.  It’s what made me a fantastic litigator, and now, on my own, has led to a very unfortunate chain of events.  The short version is I’m teaching too many classes and handling too many consulting clients.  This means that any down time I have goes to OwennKelly, gardening, and writing–not necessarily in that order.  The reasons I find myself overcommitted vary, but they usually involve a healthy dose of avoidance and denial.  In this case I’m going with a good old-fashioned retreat.  Just as I was about to really commit to the writing I got cold feet and loaded up my plate with work specifically designed to keep me justcloseenough to writing that I could write, I just wouldn’t have to rely on it to pay the bills.  Roughly translated that means that I can keep my couple of blogging gigs and write an article here and there, but not really progress on anything else, like oh say WORKING FULL-TIME WRITING.  Ugh.  That sounds familiar.  If I’m going to do that why even quit the lawfirm- see what I mean?  The cycle of ugh.

Good news is it didn’t take a near-nervous breakdown to recognize that was going on, and the even better news is that in two weeks my schedule opens WAY up again.  And, by blogging about the cycle of ugh I just publicly shamed myself, which is usually the best way for me to keep on top of something.  It’s how I quit smoking cigarettes- I’d rather suffer through the most grating nicotine fit than risk the shit I’d take for not living up to my own hype.  I know it is a little nuts, so what.

So here it is, another public shaming.  Time for me to get to work.